Becoming Human: How Empathy Empowers Healing & Community

Scripture

Proverbs 15:1-3,30-31

A gentle answer turns away wrath,

    but a harsh word stirs up anger.

The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge,

    but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

The eyes of the Lord are everywhere,

    keeping watch on the wicked and the good.

Light in a messenger's eyes brings joy to the heart,

    and good news gives health to the bones.

Whoever heeds life-giving correction

    will be at home among the wise.

Psalm 33:11-22

The counsel of the Lord stands forever,

    the plans of his heart to all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,

    the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!

The Lord looks down from heaven;

    he sees all the children of man;

from where he sits enthroned he looks out

    on all the inhabitants of the earth,

he who fashions the hearts of them all

    and observes all their deeds.

The king is not saved by his great army;

    a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.

The war horse is a false hope for salvation,

    and by its great might it cannot rescue.

Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,

    on those who hope in his steadfast love,

that he may deliver their soul from death

    and keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the Lord;

    he is our help and our shield.

For our heart is glad in him,

    because we trust in his holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,

    even as we hope in you.

Becoming Human: How Empathy Empowers Healing & Community

by Rev. Cory Bradford-Watts

Read the message below. Video premieres today at 8 pm EDT, click here to watch on YouTube with live text chat

Humane is a word we use to describe humanity when we act the most human, when we behave the most caring and wise. There's something empowering about the thought that we become more ourselves, we evolve, when we act more altruistically, loving, and peaceful. But we often treat our world and ourselves inhumanely, as if we weren't human - made in the image of God(dess), and this leads to much suffering, anxiety, and pain.

We find it's easy to mentally beat ourselves and others up in this day and age. We grow up in societies that act as though it's natural to treat people as if they're cogs in a factory, "Live up to my expectations or you might as well not exist!" I believe this is a symptom of viewing everyone as if we're all self-driven and not truly empowered by each other, our environments, and Divinity in a diverse, deeply interconnected community. We've learned to act as if everything is not a gift from our Higher Power, a mirror of the Universe, a blessing from God(dess) - especially the wise and loving aspects of ourselves that make us truly human.

Scriptures tell us that we've fallen into this tendency because of our pride - over time and in generations past we've developed our vanities and a sense of self-glory. A feeling of personal power above others and a love of external pleasure. When all is "going well" in this state, we may feel somewhat cynically and selfishly pleased, but we also tend to pressure others and ourselves with a dominating, fearful, and hopeless spirit, casting judgment and pain. And when we or others don't fit our expectations, a harsh dismissal commences: we act inhumanely. Other humans can often be hardly human to us, and we only care for our own power and the extensions of that dominating power in other people - which is often just the extent they agree with us on issues we find important, as well as the extent that they glorify and identify with us.

We see this quite a bit in our cities, which often do not act like caring communities or "villages," but instead become centers of poverty, mental illness, and competition. Where the "bottom line" for shareholders (those who invest cash through the stock-market) becomes more important than an equitable return for those who give their lives to our companies and communities (see last week's message on this subject at https://swedenborgiancommunity.org/blog/capitalism).

How do we go about healing these rifts in our hearts, minds, and structures as a society? Because, if scripture is right, in this self-glorifying state we almost entirely miss out on the peace and Divine joy of life, of being humans made in God's likeness - finding the opposite of this in their stead: hurtfulness, anxiety, and depression. Further, this clearly leads to a system of scarcity that promotes oppression and hurt, especially among the poor.

As for me, I believe there are some veins of healing through further developing a deep awareness of the interconnectedness between each other and our Universe (as the scriptures describe), as well as addressing the core issue: we lack empathy and a caring, communal attitude - things that we're told are at the heart of what it means to intentionally partake in the life-source of a loving God.

Recently, as part of my personal studies, I've been learning more about psychiatry and psychotherapy, and I came across a wonderful podcast called, you guessed it, "Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Podcast" by Dr. David Puder. In one of the recent episodes on empathy, he points out that research tells us that 1) having empathy (cognitive, affective, and compassionate empathy) and 2) spending time working on specific therapeutic skills, have the most positive impact on patients in therapeutic relationships. This means that the key healing attributes of how we interact with each other boil down to how much we actively empathize with each other and how much we work on that! Thus, it makes sense that when we behave in a way that exhibits no empathy or a negative, hateful inversion of empathy (inhumaneness), we destroy and hurt each other and our communities.

Interestingly enough, this research points to how a therapist's theoretical framework has little to no additional impact on their patients. Further, in his notes for this episode, Dr. Puder writes that, "In a big study on therapist effect (69 therapists, 4,580 patients), they found that years of experience, gender, age, profession, highest qualifications, caseload, degree of theoretical integration did not predict outcome." (https://psychiatrypodcast.com/psychiatry-psychotherapy-podcast/how-empathy-works-and-how-to-improve-it)

This means that if we want to be a truly human(e) community and have relationships that heal - since that's what Dr. Puder is describing, therapeutic relationships - we must connect with 1) empathy, as well as 2) work on our therapeutic skills. What therapeutic skills? Empathizing ones and ones that promote others' empathy.

According to Dr. Puder, "Empathy is the ability to understand another's state of mind or emotions. It also is being able to feel, understand and share with someone else in what they are saying, their meaning of life, their motivations and values." And there are three types of empathy: cognitive, affective, and compassionate empathy. Which, in other words, describe how we exhibit empathy by taking another person's perspective (cognitive empathy), by feeling a sense of togetherness or sharing an emotional experience (affective empathy), and by sympathizing or compassionately being concerned with others perspectives and feelings (compassionate empathy).

In a way, I find this general idea to be very much related to the pluralistic-Christian mystic, Emanuel Swedenborg's (1688-1772) idea that to be a healing, healthy human you must care for others and seek to uplift them. Indeed, Swedenborg believed that the whole point of creation was to empower a healthy, diverse community (the heavenly kingdom on earth and in-spirit), centered on care for other beings and for a loving, caring God (no matter what we call that God). In fact, Swedenborg believed that the source of our ability to care and empathize, to be truly human(e), was the Divine Humanity of Christ, a Holy Being that transcends any one religion and that watches and cares for each of us closely and intimately.

It's interesting, because like the research Dr. Puder references on therapeutic relationships, Swedenborg thought that although there is and should be a diversity of approaches to God (different theories or religions) the thing that makes each of them whole and effective is their love of others and of life itself, both in theory and in act. In a way, the psychiatric research and Swedenborg seem to agree; to the extent that someone's personal spirituality or therapeutic behavior doesn't center on empathizing, the less positive their impact on others, no matter their theories or frameworks.

As Jesus commanded, to truly find a sense of heaven within and around us, we must love Love and each other. We must love the Lord our God (who is also called many things, even in Biblical scripture) with all of our hearts, and our neighbors as ourselves.

To love our neighbors as ourselves, we must empathize with them. This takes time and actively listening. It takes caring and working on our ability to care. In fact, part of Christ's command to love our neighbor as ourselves involves loving ourselves. So, we must also empathize more with ourselves, listening with love and care to the feelings and ideas that we automatically hide, reject, or project onto others.

Loving ourselves and others also involves letting go of the voice of pain and judgment, the inner-voice we've developed because we were protecting ourselves from a broken system - unaware that we were as loved and cared for as God has loved us. Like a good therapist, we are called to have patience with the healing process, engaging with and normalizing our own and others' feelings and experiences so that we might have stronger, trustworthy, and healing relationships and communities. We are called to become more human, to embody further the image and likeness of the Divine Human within.

Our world needs such healing postures and relationships. Becoming more empathetic and human(e) towards our world ultimately means that we empower our earth toward healing in every arena. Swedenborg's Christology was interesting, because he believed that God is the source of what makes us truly human, truly humane. That no matter our religion, to the extent that we lean away from God(dess)'s core attributes (humaneness), the more monstrous, inhumane, and dominating we become (and ultimately unhappy, to boot). As we learn to embody and empower our empathy, we further heal and become like a village, like our higher-selves, and what we are meant to be: human.

Blessings,

Rev. Cory