The Dad Bod of God
by Rev. Cory Coberforward
Matthew 23:8-14
“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.”
Responsive Reading - Isaiah 63:15-17
Look down from heaven and see,
from your lofty throne, holy and glorious.
Where are your zeal and your might?
Your tenderness and compassion are withheld from us.
But you are our Father, though Abraham does not know us or Israel acknowledge us;
you, Lord, are our Father, our Redeemer from of old is your name.
Why, Lord, do you make us wander from your ways
and harden our hearts so we do not revere you?
Return for the sake of your servants,
the tribes that are your inheritance.
Read the written message below with music videos
For Fathers’ Day it may seem a little strange to highlight a quote from Christ that says not to call anyone on earth “father,” but trust me – I have my reasons! That sounds like something a father would say, doesn’t it? Jokes aside, I believe it’s true, all truly fatherly attributes are from the Divine Parent, our Heavenly Father known by many names. And the aspects of each of us that can be called “fatherly” are not of this world either but are sourced from above. And so, he’s right, in a true sense no one on earth can be called father as it is our Divine light and the Divine workings of Providence and Life that make anyone even an earthly dad. It is the aspect of us not “on earth” that is the root of our parenthood, the core of life that we call angelic, heaven, Divine, and God. This means that when we call our fathers “father” in this world, we would do well to remember that the fatherly light is from the One Divinity known by many names, and that any true fatherhood is the Lord made manifest, just as it is with our mothers.
We men can feel a bit assailed in the world today, and we should respect these feelings as a society. However, the root cause of these feelings of being rejected and looked down upon is the natural cycle of men’s own toxicity being reflected back. Where once a woman was judged largely by her appearance, I would say that now men are more likely to be dismissed and judged for being heavy or ugly or too skinny, etc. Body positivity hasn’t quite circled back toward the “dad bod.”
And yet our dads (and their bodies) are a beautiful sight to behold when they are truly fatherly. This extends to those who are not fathers but who have acted like true fathers. Men, like women and those who are gender-queer, are expressions of Divinity. It has been men’s lack of perception of their unity with all beings that has driven our evil and selfish behaviour. Often, we men don’t know that we are acting misogynistically, but as our identification opens up to include those around us, we see more and more of our selfish thoughts and acts disintegrate. And I think that this is often what happens when we become fathers.
We’ve all seen it, even if we haven’t experienced it ourselves. A father’s heart melting because they’ve had a kid. It’s true what they say, children also “give birth to their parents,” as we aren’t parents until a child makes it so. But becoming a good parent is often a process, one that I’m sure always feels in question a bit, but it starts with that softening of our hearts. As I personally prepare to become a father (yes, Alyssa is pregnant!), I can’t help but reflect upon what it takes to become a good father and anticipate that there will be plenty of moments when I will question my aptitude! But I know that if I centre on the love at my core it will allow me to be as present as I can be, willing and able to learn and convey love to our little one and my family.
I’ve learned from my experience as a son in this world that a good father is born from a deep sense of love and caring, as well as a willingness to listen, learn, put others first, and to just be there. In fact, a good father holds many qualities, most of which can be said to be aspects of God. So, the question remains, how do we take on these qualities in order to become better parents, friends, and neighbours?
Many of the spiritual practices taught by our sages seem to fit the ticket to help us in our journey. 1) Be present in the moment. 2) Let the worries of tomorrow take care of themselves. 3) Love God knowing that God is the heart of all being. 4) Love your neighbours knowing that their very life is God, even when their minds are centered on destruction and selfishness. 5) Turn to the Father in fullness to allow God’s qualities to shine through you, knowing that God is closer than our sense of effort.
These are just scratching the surface but each one contains the others. Often, our fathers (or anyone) can think of us as extensions of themselves but in a selfish way, almost like we are tools for their self-gratification. This is the inverse of loving others AS ourselves because instead, we are loving others as subservient to ourselves. As the great spiritual thinker Emanuel Swedenborg wrote, this leads us to only look fondly upon others to the extent that they are serving us to our liking. This is the type of false earthly self that shouldn’t be called father or teacher as Jesus said, because it takes no part in the Heavenly Father but is centered on a shallow sense of itself.
From my observation this is often the trap of parenthood, our tendency to centre on our false limited sense of self, demanding our way and railing when we don’t get it, identifying as what is controlling, fearful, anxious, and limited in its way of thinking. We think that we have good reasons for these things in our minds, including just our sense that “father knows best.” And although certain things can only safely be done in certain ways, our tendency to need things to be perfect and under our control is the greatest disservice to ourselves and others. All things are under God’s control, whether we perceive it or not, and yes, perfect in their own way. Even destruction and evil have their role in our learning journeys, although we are called to give these tendencies up and allow the Heavenly City to descend to Earth. Like our fathers, the Divine Parent is often teaching us how to avoid the pitfalls of ignorance and selfishness, and as God’s children, we would do well to listen and allow God to God.
This doesn’t mean that we give up our rationality, all our thinking, and our plans, but it does mean putting them in their place instead of putting those in our care in theirs. There is a place for consequences, which should start in our own treatment of the overly judgmental mind that has done less than nothing to serve us. God is at no distance from our consciousness as the Way, the Truth, and the Life Itself. And the mystery of God within holds all the wisdom and love we could hope to cultivate. Not all of our learning must come the hard way, as the good book says: scripture is already written on our hearts.
Our greatest dads have learned this intuitively, whether they know it or not. And we celebrate our fathers due to these Divine attributes today – for giving us life. They teach with their presence the power of presence and being. They don’t have to prove themselves because they have come to identify with more than the false label of “individual self,” and thus part of them knows that they are one with everything. Good dads learn from moms and vice versa and everything in between. They convey honesty, peace, love, attention, care, kindness, wholeheartedness, patience, steadfastness, wisdom, insight, truth, and on and on. I give thanks to this core of love within each one of us, whatever you call it. And I give thanks for my dad and my granddads for conveying these truths to me in their own ways.
The dad bod of God may seem unwieldy or like too much at times, especially when we start to feel the call to look at others outside of our designated sandboxes and traditions as part of the heavenly bod too. But it isn’t our fearfully analytical minds that have to place them into this body, there’s no need for consumption in that way. They are already part of it whether they know it or not, particularly the aspects of their living and thinking that centre in goodness, kindness, and love. All of our light is the very light of God, all things rise in consciousness for everyone and every living thing. Even our scientists say that the material universe only briefly solidifies as something solid when consciousness is present. Such “spooky” behaviour (as Einstein called it) can only start to be understood if we start from the common denominator itself, consciousness.
This means that all our deeper learning must start in the same place, the heaven that is within, the light of this world, the love of life. This is known as Jesus, the Christ, Krishna, Goddess, Jehovah, the Way/Tao, Allah, Elohim, the Mother, the Father, to name a few. We are to repent (meaning turn around) back toward the Father of all, instead of investing everything in the outward manifestation of things, our minds, and our addictions. As the Divine Father said through Christ, “Store up your treasures in heaven.” Ultimately, our shared Parent makes all of us in the individual sense God’s children, and knowing this helps us to see through the trauma and hurt that others display and always see the child and the light of the Father within, just like a good dad.
Happy Fathers’ Day
Cory